August

Once she asked me to get myself a girl friend. I said no. Then she replied me with “how about a boy friend?” I didn’t know what to say so I keep quiet and go back to my work.

Tomorrow will be a good day to meet her in the boat show. I have to say, I didn’t feel anything special towards her. She was too lady, with her big feet and big hands. For me, that wasn’t pretty, or attractive enough. As soon we speak to each other, I found her might be origin from my country toward the slang and language she used. All those “la” and “pa” accents. But she wasn’t looked like any lady from my country. Which was strange, since she told me she was actually KL born but been lived in Italy as soon she graduated from primary school. She invites me for her boat show tomorrow. Anyway, we met each other during the flight from west to east, and I did drank a lot ‘Singapore Slang’ cocktails which provided free of charge from aircrews. I have paid the price to deserve it. She is professional sailors from Italy, and I’m a peasant orang-utan from KL which needed to be re-educate in west. I dare not to mention where my home country is precisely.

Anyway back to the day before tomorrow. I seat in front of the harbor whole day alone, watching the preparation of the boat show. The feeling of loneliness came towards from the cold and dryly air. You might be one of the crew, setting up your boat for presentation tomorrow. How nice and wonderful it is. I started to think of my future. Wonder when I would get enough money to earn those boats. Stop dreaming. I took out my romance novel and continue my unfinished story which called as "20 Fragments of a Ravenous Youth". It is about a peasant girl who searching for a perfect love. She started with a man who was a film director, but as soon she realizes he wasn’t the right man for her, she leaves. Another part of the story was she accepted a foreigner from English, but as soon she discovered how useless he was when she was in trouble, she broke up with him. The story continues goes around with all the different type of men and she has finally realized the first one was the best for her, but it was too late for both to be together. The ending is a bit sad. I learn the story toward how those men treated the girl and make her satisfy to stay longer with her. I have once dream to have a blonde wife in the future.

Yes, I might be a playboy, flirty or drifter who does not own anything yet. I’m useless in this country. I wonder how shiny life I might be if I continue my second part of my life in my home country. Arch, stop thinking about it, I have been given an assignment from god which required me to come here for somethings.

Forever 20

She must has tells something wrong about me to her mother.

Sydney, by appearance, so modern, noble, but when i travel street by street to looking for possible part time job, I find Sydney a second Johor. So mess, dim and dirty. I refuse to find any better thing to compared it with my home country. I learning Australia by making friend first. They can easily start any type of conversation with stranger, without shy or fear, unlike us, because we had always been taught and reminded by school teachers and family that we have to avoid to talk to stranger. "Don't tell them where you live," "don't tell them anything regarding your family," "don't tell them how much money is in your wallet." For sure i will not tell it to anyone if they never ask, or even they asked, I might not telling the true because no point for letting others knowing it. I'm just an ordinary guy from poor family.

Australia, It was the place I going to stay for several year and make better life through Western education. When Amanda remind her eldest sister that she has a fully developed mind, I feel empty in my brain. I have to be re-educate. I feeling useless in this country. I feeling I can die for any kind of situation. No safety in this country, men easily get drunk in the pub!! Not by reading the news of a young international student couples been murdered at waterloo, Sydney" at the first night I in Australia. I think the unsafe feeling come from I knowing nothing from this country. I seen beggars anyway in this country. They sit randomly on the street and play lovely music with their old and lousy instrument, and people don't call them beggars but street performers.

Sorry for my English. I don't write good grammar as it wasn't my mother tongue. There is a funny conversation between an Australian and me, she said she feels proud as an Australian because their government provide unemployment allowance for resident whom refuse to get a job. I don't find any good reason of the benefit, as It's making their resident become lazy and depended to their government. In my home country, our government never provides unemployment benefit, but they did offer us cheap petrol that making our life easier.

Are you sure that our country doesn't provide any unemployment allowance? No, we did provide it, but not much.